on fear and grief

Some days i triumph
like a knighted warrior
the swell of the symphony and crimson petals fall with grace
like the grand golden mystery
from the lips of my sweet Savior
and other days i fear the silence of night and the uncertainty
quaking the foundation of my path.
i stand as the subject of a cosmic custody battle
between my creator and the fallen enemy
i cry not for justice
i beg for mercy
restless
violent
reluctant
longing for saftey in bleak complexity.