this way or that: choices that never leave

the deepness of mercy

the peril of life

these two rivals intermingle in wonder

the path darkens and narrows with the death of innocence

and an understanding of long forgotten debts 

that shuffle toward you- quietly- fearfully- amazingly

the burden is too great 

i buckle under the weight of knowledge that there is something much greater, much higher.

needful chasms of sinking sand.

i fight, i flee and i force back the truth for a small token of absurd serenity

meanwhile the Spirit waits, settles

like a blanket of dew on the pastures of Eden

the fall is real

i fumble for freedom

for a second chance

but am i willing to surrender--

to give up futile efforts of self-salvation

waste and void 

am i willing to trust the escorts of the unseen Savior

or am i content to tremble over the puzzle of my brokenness 

in shame, remorse and condemnation

saying to God,

Let me prove.

hands pushing away the blood of righteousness.

this is my daily battle- to climb off the high horse of mortal independence 

falling face down in helpless abandon.