week as Pastor in Review

What an eye-opening week this has been. I'm learning how tremendously difficult a Pastor's job is. I have a totally new perspective on things and I have often whispered to God a prayer of confession

Lord, I had no idea. 

Now I don't want to say at all that I'm regretting this, but my emotions will difinately need to stablize. We are going through change, growth, new members and members who feel called to leave the church. Seeing people leave is certainly the most dificult part of being a pastor so far. I've really grieve over that. I tend to take those kinds of things as personal rejection and I've got to stop doing that because to place myself in that position is idolatry of self.  I want everybody to like me. (Idolatry) I want everybody to think I am doing whats right for the church. (Idolatry) I someimtes feel that if people reject of church they are rejecting me. (idolatry) I want to recieve affirmation (idolatry) I want all my friends to say I did the right thing by leaving lifeway. (Idolatry)

Transitions 

I don't think I fully gave myself a chance to grieve leaving LifeWay. I love LifeWay and my most of my intimate friendships are there and so in some ways I feel like the kid in the song "Hello mudda, hello fadda here i am at came Grenada." (If you are under 35 that means nothing to you.)

But I know God has called me to do this and it will get easier emotionally. God is doing some incredible things in the lives of the Bluegrass family. I've seen restorations, answered prayers, and pockets of spiritual awakening.

 
If you read this far down on this entry, you are probably a cherished friend. Please pray for me. Thanks!

Comments

[Wanda]

What refreshing intimacy by a Pastor! I am praying for you. And frankly, LifeWay misses you too!

You are experiencing the ultimate picture of marriage. You must leave (hello mudda...)(sadly I do remember) and cleave (Bluegrass-hello new family). Leaving requires grieving, so give yourself some purposeful time to do that! Cleaving means hanging on to the mission, the bigger picture. People are fickle- I'm guessing that's not a new theory for you! You cannot meet all the people all the time in the places they need to be met. The rejection thing- well, it started a long time before you and as they say- it ain't about you!

I wish I lived in Hendersonville!
Blessings on your new journey. Keep a travel log because you won't remember the roads you took in a couple of years!
W

[matt]

Thanks so much! Wanda. Thanks for being a cherished friend.

[Luke]

Even at 25, I know what you mean.
I've started over so many times, doing things completely different than anything I've done before...
Working jobs that I had absolutely no experience in...
You just have to realize that those people who said that you can do anything if you put your mind to it... (Most of which didn't actually believe their own advice, they were just trying to keep you motivated) ...well, they are right. We're always stronger and more adaptable than we realize. Just surround yourself with those people who loved you enough to give you that crazy advice, and you'll start to believe it yourself...
...and most of the time, you won't be disappointed.

[Chris B]

Hi! I've recently rediscovered your blog (that you originally told me about years ago). I'm one of the "newbie writers" you gave a shot to in Let's Worship when you first took it over. I'll always appreciate that! Anyway, I had no idea that you had left LifeWay, but it sounds like the Lord has a great new adventure for you. I'll be praying and I'll be watching to see how the Lord guides you in Your new ministry.

[Kelly]

Thank you for reminding us that we are not to be all things to all people. We cannot be. The harder we try the further into idolatry we fall.

I grieve the current state of churches myself. I choose to stay to make a differences to those who care and are seeking Him.

May you not grow weary in the work of love.

However I may be of service to you in this new position, please do not hesitate to call!

[sistasmiff]

I totally relate to the grieving of leaving LW. I grieved for quite awhile. Course, it was a different situation for me, but, the hardest thing was my friends there. Yeah, you can still see them, keep in touch, etc. but it's just different.

At the same time, I love where I am now. It doesn't make me hurt anymore to think about the things I miss about LW. (Ok I do miss all those vacation days that I don't have now)

You are such an answered prayer, Matt. I am definitely praying for you and Darlene while you make the transition. We're really glad to have you all.

[m2]

hey, matt -- congratulations and many blessings! i have been absent, but not just here - the 'sphere in general.

you have a servant's heart. you want what is best and you grieve with your congregation and for them, as well. you will be awesome, i just know it.

peace to you.