sermon to myself

One of the key strategies of my flesh is escape-  Thinking if I could run away emotionally, mentally, artistically, or spiritually, life would easy. I have learned over the past few years that escape is enemy of perseverance. To persevere is to hold on tight to the values of my faith and experience the fullness of the cross.

 I believe that is the struggle of every believer in the midst of turmoil and desperation.

Escape is easy at first but the product of escape is regret and waste. and there is nothing more pitiful than a wasted life.

Escape worships a pain-free, prove-it-to-me, cause-effect, selfcentered, instant gratification, feel-good-about-myself god. The conversation between a husband and wife in the movie ordinary people reflects the conversation that God has with believers who have sought "escape"

Beth Jarrett: Calvin? Why are you crying? Can I, uh... can I get you something?
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: I don't...
Beth Jarrett: What did you say? Calvin, what did you say? Tell me!
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: You are beautiful. And you are unpredictable. But you're so cautious. You're determined, Beth; but you know something? You're not strong. And I don't know if you're really giving. Tell me something. Do you love me? You really love me?
Beth Jarrett: I feel the way I've always felt about you.
Calvin "Cal" Jarrett: We would have been all right if there hadn't been any mess. But you can't handle mess. You need everything neat and easy.

I suppose I'm the same as many believers.  I have a hard time handling mess. 

Lord, show me how to live my life and lean on you to handle the mess. You ask, Do I love you? Yes, I do. I surrender my mess over to you.