me? Codependant? (Warning introspection)

That's the question of the day as we go through the 3 day conference. So here are the markers:

True or false

1. An exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.

OK... probably true since I always seem to come away feeling like i could have prevented all the goofy things that happen in my life and in the lives of those I love. There's always those thoughts of what was my part in this. It's hard for me to accept the fact that I can't save the world (or even myself for that matter.)

2. A tendency to confuse love and pity, with the tendency to “love” people they can pity and rescue.

In my early adult years I can name several relationships that were a pity and love combo, Feeling guilty If i couldn't be friends with anyone that wanted to be my friend.

3. A tendency to do more than their share, all of the time.

I guess that may be true because I'm always so busy. And I resent it when i see some people around me goofing off or even taking time off. (Uggg. My carnality is shining- that hurts.)

4. A tendency to become hurt when people don’t recognize their efforts.

I do sometimes feel unappreciated. but I get over it.

5. An unhealthy dependence on relationships. The co-dependent will do anything to hold on to a relationship; to avoid the feeling of abandonment.

I don't think this is where I am because I more often crave alone time. Being abandoned every now and then sounds like a good proposition. I am more concerned about the abandonment of others.

6. An extreme need for approval and recognition.

No. I really don't think so... Or maybe that's why I blog... Gosh i hope not...

7. A sense of guilt when asserting themselves.

OK Got me on that one. If I have to confront people I know I'll need to carve out at least three days to feel guilty. My Baptist roots are showing. Oh wait.. Explanation.. I'm an old school baptist as opposed to the cut-throat early 90's model.

8. A compelling need to control others.

Nope sorry... Not where I am... Although I wish I could control my son, right now. I confess that. But I don't think I'm a control freak.

9. Lack of trust in self and/or others.

False. I think I trust too much.

10. Fear of being abandoned or alone.

I have an extreme fear of being abandoned by God. But I really don't fear abandonment by people. I don't know where that fear came from but I've always fear the words- "Depart from me evil doers"

11. Difficulty identifying feelings.

I don't know how I feel about that statement.

12. Rigidity/difficulty adjusting to change.

Nope. Not me. The only change I have trouble with is when things in my work settle down and stop changing. It really freaks me out.

13. Problems with intimacy/boundaries.

I don't think I have intimacy problems but I am the worst person I know when it comes to boundaries. I've read the books but I haven't even gotten a learners permit in boundaries.

14. Chronic anger.

I do get angry but I have a really difficult time expressing the anger. So I have a tendency to stuff. thus prone to depression.

15. Lying/dishonesty.

Don't get me wrong. I have broken this commandment many times. But I don't think I make a lifestyle out of lying. Honest!

16. Poor communications.

I'm great at mass communications but I'm just no good at negative communications- you know... when you have to reject, correct, or turn somebody down. I haven't found that gear, I hate sending out rejection letters to authors. If I had to do that every day I would also be an alcoholic

17. Difficulty making decisions.

Little decisions? No problems. Big Decisions? Hate'm

So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.