this is my confession of faith

Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns. See if there is any offensivea way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.

Psalm 139:23-24
HCSB

Such a difficult prayer to pray. Where this verse leads, in my flesh, i don't wish to go. But it shadows my every move. God is teaching me that I am not a human painkiller or solution. I am a lamb. A couple of days ago i pulled out the first shirt that had in the drawer and put it on to go out of the house. It was a navy shirt with a big superman "S" on it. (my kids gave it to me last father's day.) I looked at myself in the mirror and i had this realization that I was trying to live up to the billing. i hate to see others suffer and i want to stop the speeding bullets and leap everyone's tall buildings. My efforts are fultile. i am a broken man. i don't remember a time when i have been more broken. but i am still here. in pain? yes. weak? yes. trusting God? yes. because i am strong? no. i can't think of anyone around me today that is weaker. Because i'm such a spiritual guy? no way. as charles barclay proclaimed in the mid-90's-- i am no role model. i trust him because i am a desperate man.

Comments

[~m2~]

we are all desperate, matt, and all in need of a Savior. thank God you recognize that and know you are not on this journey by yourself. there are many of us that continue to pray for you, too.

peace.

[matt]

Thanks so much, friend. This is what happens to baptists because we don't have a confession booth. We treat our blog like one:-)

You are such an encouragement, sister.