We are the Church of...

The folowing reading could be performed by any number of readers. You may chose each “church” to be represented by 2 readers. Or you may chose to have it performed as printed- a two person sketch.

Reader 1: Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord,

Reader 2: walk in Him,

Reader 1: rooted and built up in Him

Reader 2: and established in the faith, just as you were taught,

Reader 1: and overflowing with thankfulness.

Both: Be careful

Reader 1: that no one takes you captive through philosophy

Reader 2: and empty deceit based on human tradition,

Reader 1: based on the elemental forces of the world,

Reader 2: and not based on Christ.
(Colossians 2:6-8)
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Reader 1: Welcome to the Church of man

Reader 2: We base our theology on doing our best.

Reader 1: We look good in crowds. We improve our lives through practice and self-improvement.

Reader 2: Numbers, charts and awards fuel us to be the very best we could be.

Reader 1: We can simply look at the stats to find out if we’re worthy or if we need to improve. Failure is not an option

Both: We are the Church of Man.

Reader 1: We are the First Church Paranormal.

Reader 2: We look for signs and angels and demons.

Reader 1: The UFO and Area 51 hold the key to our philosophy.

Reader 2: The truth is out there and we’ll find it some day.

Reader 1: After the Moon, the planets and stars lead the way.

Both: We are the church of Parnormal Mystique.

Reader 2: We are the church of eternally cool.

Reader 1: We’re ahead of the trends

Reader 2: And our statements are all in fashion.

Reader 1: If you are old, or dressed in an unapproved way.

Reader 2: We’ll turn up our nose and hope you find another more homely place of service.

Both: We are the church of the eternally cool.

Reader 1: And we are the church of guidlines and rules

Reader 2: If you provide the whell barrel and we’ll throw in the Christianity handbook.

Reader 1: We expand on the Bible with new ideas for conformity.

Reader 2: We will tell you what goes in your house, mouth, wallet, and mind.

Reader 1: And we’ll tell you for certain what things will cast you out of the glory of our reputation.

Reader 2: Please pull yourself together if you’d like to join.

Both: And we are the church of guidlines and rules

Reader 1: We don’t tolerate people with broken pieces.

Reader 2: Come composed or don’t come at all.

Reader 1: This is the place where conformity is king.

Both: And we are the church of guidlines and rules

Reader 2: We are the church of liesure and escape.

Reader 1: Join us but don’t bring anything to the table that will require us to change.

Reader 2: We want to feel good about ourselves. So if you address us, please make it positive.

Both: We are the church of liesure and escape.

Reader 1: We are the Body of Christ.

Reader 2: Rescued from ourselves by this lover, creator.

Reader 1: Broken

Reader 2: reliant on grace.

Reader 1: Loving all people

Reader 2: Radically merciful

Reader 1: overflowing with acceptance and thanksgiving.

Reader 2: walking and rooted in Jesus.

Reader 1: pursuing the cross of our Lord.

Reader 2: We have a passion to be one thing.

Both: His.

(long pause)

Both: We are the Body of Christ.