My Rewrite of the new Terminal Sketch

Marcus
Archetypal Sketch for John Mark
The Terminal Series

Bud: (To audience) Every now and then the brass from Washington visit
to do a little accountability check and they usually have a person of
interest they want to interview. I guess that today is one of those
days. Ms. or should I say Agent Jill Carrington is the confident woman
in plain clothes.

Jill: Hello, Marcus? Marcus McClendon?

Marcus: Yes?

Jill: Don't panic. (She shows her walleted badge) No big deal. I
just need you to step over to this table.

Marcus: What's the problem?

Jill: Just need to ask you a few questions.

Marcus: My plane leaves in thirty minutes.

Jill: Don't worry we'll get you on board if everything checks out.

Marcus: Checks out?

Jill: Just a security check.

Marcus: Do I look like a security threat?

Jill: No, but I still need to ask you a few questions. Can I have
your laptop?

(Bud checks out his laptop)

Marcus: Sure.

Jill: I understand that you're traveling to Israel?

Marcus: I've got a job offer over there. And I accepted it.

Jill: Congratulations.

Marcus: Conditionally.

Jill: Oh.

Marcus: I told them I'd stay through June and then we'll see where it
goes from there.

Jill: And you just booked your flight three days ago?

Marcus: I had trouble deciding if I really wanted to go.

Jill: Let's see here. (Looking at her clip-board which has an
intel.briefing) Let me make sure the facts are correct here.

Marcus: About what?

Jill: Who you are. Where you're going. That sort of stuff.

Marcus: You know all that? How?

Jill: This is really not a big deal. We just have to be overly
cautious. You know that. I see that you almost graduated from
Vanderbilt with a 4.0 average but you dropped out to work for Google.
You must have been on the ground floor. Too bad you didn't stay until
they went public.

Marcus: Still kicking myself for that one. But I had itchy feet. I
just couldn't get along with my team. You know how they change the
logo on special days? (Jill nods.) My idea.

Jill: Then you were a computer programmer for Apple for three weeks
but you were fired for lack of accountability.

Marcus: I was in love. Who's accountable when they're in love?

Jill: Then you traveled to Canada and worked as an Internet security
consultant.

Marcus: I just had to get out of the country. The wedding was going
to happen in a couple of days and I just didn't know if I was the
marrying type. It wasn't like I took the first bus to Las Vegas.

Jill: And so you came back because you missed her. Right?

Marcus: Exactly. How'd you know that?

Jill: Just putting two and two together.

Marcus: I'm impressed. Score one for the Patriot Act.

Jill: So how'd it go?

Marcus: She's wonderful. She's beautiful. She loves me. She's patient.
She's perfect…

Jill: Except for…

Marcus: She wants a commitment.

Jill: She wants a ring.

Marcus: Oh, she's got a ring.

Jill: That's a pretty strong commitment.

Marcus: I was and I still AM committed. But the pressure! It's
enough to make your head explode. They wanted at least three months
to prepare for the ceremony. And her parents! Yesh! Every time I
postponed the wedding for a few weeks they'd look at me like I was
wishy-washy.

Jill: Really? (Smiles shaking his head.)

Marcus: What's so funny.

Jill: That men so smart could be so stupid.

Marcus: That was a tad sexist

Jill: Sorry. It's just the weirdest life story I've heard sense 911.

Marcus: Look, I'm no Don Juan. I'm not gallivanting around the world
having secret love connections. It's just that people expect me to
jump when they yell frog.

Jill: So what's the lucky girl's phone number.

Marcus: You need to substantiate the story.

Jill: No. I believe the story, I'd just like to talk some sense into her.

Marcus: What?

Jill: Just joking. (To Bud) Are we done here?

Bud: He's all clear.

(Jill walks away.)

Marcus: (to Bud) Can you believe her? She's from out of town. Right?
Why is everyone pressuring me? I didn't even know her and I felt like
she was my Mom.

Bud: I don't think she meant to get into your personal world.

Marcus: Everyone seems to want me to stay in one place. Even God.

Bud: Hey that's between you and God. I don't wanna get in the
middle of that.

Marcus: I joined a church the other day and they had this new
member class and they wanted me to decide on what ministry I'd be
involved in. What in the world is THAT all about? You'd think they
didn't have a paid staff.

Bud: Actually they…

Marcus: I just joined the church to feel good about myself and they
want a commitment.

Bud: Is that what you think church is--

Marcus: They keep sending me these envelopes in the mail implying that
they want a financial commitment.

Bud: I think I can safely say that you aren't a threat to anyone.
Even the devil.