mercy me

tonight i finally turned in the mercy book to the editor. Ahhhhh... Some relief. But i have really struggled today. i went through a grueling day where I faced lots of aesthetic criticism from a person in another area about my work on a project (not the book). memo to self: when giving criticism, always find something... anything positive. this person had nothing to say that was positive. i know i shouldn't take it personally but i can't help feeling the weight of all that was said. stuff like, "the lifeway brand shouldn't even be on this product." i can't believe i'm blogging this but it's been such a big part of my overall emotional temperature that i feel like i must. criticism is a part of life and i must grow from it but wow... this has been a difficult thing for me to swallow. i have constantly been asking myself, "do i really stink that bad?"

Lord, i pray that you'll help me separate my work from my identity. (i am praying for a psychological miracle. it's so hard for me to do.) It's been the kind of thing where i've been testing the spirits trying to find out what is direction from God and what is a direct attack from satan. i've been on a slide that started with my experience Friday morning at the tigermart to this deal with the project i'm working on. Lord, keep me pure. I invite you to chisel away any carnal motive or any part of me that is puffed up. Keep me from resentment and pride. I release it all into your hands.

interesting to be finishing a book on mercy and mercy is what i'm struggling with this week.

Comments

[John]

Well Bro,
Now I know what I can do for you up there in Yankee Land. Pay me to stand around and break the arms of your critics. I work cheap and very soon everyone will come to love your work.
At your service,
Your Samurai Friend

[matt]

Thanks, John. It's great to have friends with skills:-) Seriously, i think this is a great growth opportunity. i love growth opportunities, don't you?

as i'm prayed about this, i think i've been encouraged that this will be one of those things i'll be able to laugh about in a year.

hope you are well.

[Wanda]

Critcism in a negative delivery is never about the recepient, it is always about the giver's self esteem needing to feel superior.

God called Matt Tullos to do this job, do it for Him. Hard to do, rewarding when done!
blessings!

[Matt J]

Hang in there Matt, This is classic when you are getting ready to talk about Spiritual Warfare at church this week. Satan always seems to put what we are preaching about to the test. But "we are more than conquerers." Praying with you and for the other person.

[Lindsey]

Matt, please don't question yourself about "stinking that bad." By far, you are the most creative person I've ever known and one of the most sincere, put all your heart and guts out on the table, willing to take a chance to make a change for the better people I know. God is using you to create new and exciting ways to capture the interests of those we haven't yet reached. Keep your chin up. You've been chosen!