The ultimate dysfunctional church conference

Sessions Include:

Creative Guilt Applications
Visual Graph to Validate Program Failures
Leaking confidential Information Confidentially
Mantaining a healthy power structure
Developing God-concepts that Support Your Personal Priorities
Keeping Kids Quiet
How to divert misplaced members to other church
Organizing Antipastor committees that Really Do Fly Under the Radar
Creative Implication and Suspicion
7 Habits of Highly Effective Triangulation
Guilt that Keeps them Coming Back
7 weeks to Youth Minister Relocation
How to use spiritual reasons for personal goal achievement
Eye Rolling for Maximum Impact
Making Your Denomination Political
Making Member Registration Difficult For Parents of Toddlers
How to Dig Up Skeletons to Shoot Down Ministry Ideas
Alienating the Leadership
Envelope Check Boxes that Create Defeatest Mentalities

Any other suggestions?

Comments

[derick]

10 ways to serve "Pastor on a Platter" when he makes a mistake.

One-liners guarenteed to stop any visionary in his tracks. (ie: "We've never done it that way before" "I'm not talking about faith - I'm talking about what we have in the bank" and, my favorite -- "Who died and made you boss?")

When all else fails - read the book (no, not THE book, the church constitution)

[penni]

how about *10 easy ways to warm a pew* or a different title, *i served last year; let someone else have a chance at it.*

ahem. not that i know anyone like that, mind you.

pax,
penni

[penni]

i forgot and posted too quickly - a subtitle to your "leaking confidential information confidentially," could be "sanctified gossip and how to use it in good conscience."

okay, i am done now :)

p