grocery store music

strolling through the grocery store and heard some of the great love silly songs. subliminal messages must be a part of the shopping equation when it comes to these tunes.

"You're every woman in the world to me."

Is that supposed to be a good thing? a compliment? Think about it- You're EVERY woman in the world to me. Yes, let's see you are Hillary Clinton, Rossie O'Donnel, Kathy Bates, Jane Fonda, and every member of the Russian track team.

And then came that 70's song that completely grosses me out. "Sometime when we touch" Uggg.

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again"

I may vomit. I think Dan Hill should have left those thoughts buried.

Then in the fruits and vegetables came the Pina Colada song. Rupert Holmes penned these words which will live in infamy.

I didn't think about my lady, I know that sounds kind of mean.
But me and my old lady, had fallen into the same old dull routine.
So I wrote to the paper, took out a personal ad.
And though I'm nobody's poet, I thought it wasn't half-bad.

Can you imagine what this character would be doing now with the power of the internet. He'd be in every chat room known to google.

I thought, This has to be one of God's practical jokes. The bad songs trifecta!

Anyway, I survived. Knowing that if "Rain Drop Keep Fallin' on my Head" began as I exited, this Kroger would implode.

Comments

[penni]

you forgot about:

*Muskrat susie, muskrat sam
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
And sammy's so skinny*

i could go on, it's simply a cut and paste since the song had long been repressed. and for obvious good reason.

the WORST song in the history of man.

so be it.

p

[matt tullos]

I'm sure the store had that song in the mix. i escaped muskratless.

[Diane]

....then there's the Holiday Favorite of Dan Fogelberg...
Met my old lover in the grocery store
The snow was falling christmas eve
I stole behind her in the frozen foods
And I touched her on the sleeve.

...We drank a toast to innocence
We drank a toast to now
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness
But neither one knew how.

Wonder how 'innocent' it really was...oh well...