rough draft of new sketch: Taken Captive

Jerry is on stage with chains wrapped around his feet and wrists. Larry enters and looks Jerry over.

Larry: Hey Jerry

Jerry: Hey Larry.

Larry: How's it going?

Jerry: Never been better.

(Larry starts to walk off and then turns back to Jerry.)

Larry: Sorry, I don't mean to bother you again about this but I couldn't help biut notice that you are still in the same place yesterday when I came by.. Do you want those chains.

Jerry: What chains?

Larry: Uh.... The chains that are kind of wrapped around your arms and legs. They seem kind of confining.

Jerry: Chains? Oh these things. Is it that noticeable?

Larry: The chains?

Jerry: Yes, I mean I just didn't think you'd notice them.

Larry: They're kind of hard not to miss.

Jerry: Really.

(Long silence)

Jerry: Well, good to see you. take care. Bye-bye now.

Larry: The reason I asked is--

Jerry: (gettting a little perturbed.) I know. I have the chains and you seem to be chain-less. You don't need to rub it in.

Larry: I'm not trying to rub it in. Believe me. I don't want to cause you any embarrassment. I just thought we were friends.

Jerry: Well, I thought friends weren't supposed to be judgemental. For once I wish I had the kind of friend that would be supportive.

Larry: I want to be, I just... Never mind.

After Larry has exited. Jerry begins to desperately, comically escape from the chains. During the struggle, his chair falls over and now Jerry is still in chains but he's now confined to the floor and can't get up.

(Mary enters)

Jerry tries to look as cool and casually as possible when he sees her. She passes by him then stops in her tracks.

Mary: Jerry?

Jerry: Oh hey Mary!

Mary: Jerry are you OK? What are you doing?

Jerry: Oh, you know me. Always pushing the envelope. Just having a little fun.

Mary: A little fun?

Jerry: Sure.

Mary: Doesn't look like very much fun.

Jerry: Of course it is. Actually this is a fitness program.

Mary: I've never heard of a fitness program that involves being chained to a chair that's been knocked over.

Jerry: Hey, It's really great. It's a matial arts discipline.

Mary: Like Tae Kwan Do?

Jerry: Yes. It's an ancient indonessian disciple. (Obviously making this story up and he speaks.) It's call Ying Kwan Ti Chia-Pet- slovinicho----Doe

Mary: Could you run that by me again.

Jerry: Its kind of bad luck to say the name twice in the same day. That's probably why you haven't heard of it.

Mary: Wow. I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff.

Jerry: Me neither. I mean it surprised me when I developed an interest in this specific matial arts sport. I hear it's going to be a olympic trial sport in Bejing.

Mary: Wow. That's really cool. So I guess I'll just leave. Are you sure you don't need any help.

Jerry: Hey. I am totally in my element, babe.

Mary: Alrighty then.

Jerry: Hey call me some time. Maybe we can get together over lunch and get to know each other a little better.

Mary: Uh. (stumbling around with her words trying to find a delicate way of escape) Well. Sure. Maybe I mean. I uh... See you.

Jerry: (to SeIf) Wow. I think she really digs me.

A man runs on stage with a hacksaw. And sets his chair back up.

Stranger: Hey, I bet you are glad to see me. Look what I've got. You'll be out of those chains in just a matter of minutes.

Jerry: What are you doing? Put that thing away.

Stranger: What are you talking about? I've seen you trying to get out of those chains for days.

Jerry: You don't even know me.

Stranger: Hey, I can tell when somebodies really hurting.

Jerry: You're embarrassing me.

Stranger: What are you talking about?

Jerry: Would you please stop waving that thing around. You are humiliating me!

Stranger: Really?

Jerry: Yes!

Stranger: But you are captive, you're all bound up. You're in chains.

Jerry: (sarcastically) Ya think?

Stranger: Yes.

Jerry: Don't you think I know that. I'm not stupid.

Stranger: then you need some help.

Jerry: Would you just go away?

Stranger: But-

Jerry: Now!

Stranger: Are you sure you don't at least want this hacksaw.

Jerry: Pulease!

Stranger: OK.

Jerry: (to self) This is not how I planned to spend the day. I don't know how long this is going to last. I don't know if I'll ever get out of here. But more than anything else, I just wish people would stop trying to free me!